Finish Him!

Oh yeah, I'm toast!

I ran out of energy around 9am.
The machine that I am, was running on fat fumes I suppose.
Mowing the lawn was on my agenda after work.
But then I had to stay late.
Then I had to run a few errands.
Followed-up by some Solomonster time.
Running into darkness.
You don't suppose I planned it that way, do you.
Crap, now I have to get up really early on a Saturday.
The lawn really needs a cutting and it's going to be 90 degrees tomorrow.
I don't mind heat, but I do not want it in April.
Alright Dr. Flab, where are you?

Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

Oh yeah, this week just blows.

I broke out my old pair of Phat-Man pants to wear to work, just to feel comfortable.
I wasn't slightly bothered by the fact that they are OLD, a little less than casual and worn looking. They felt awesome today and my bloated whale self was able to glide its fat ass into the bucket seat at work. Damn thing has no lumbar support. It's like working, sitting in a chair, that acts like a hammock but you can't nap.


Jail. I might as well have been in jail today.
*waves some burning sage around to discern the size and scope of the real Mr. Cranky Pants that is possessing my body.

This is a stress test. I know it is. And I don't want a cigarette.

NO!

PMS

When I ran across the picture above, I just had to laugh. My first thought was that Jadielady will love this illustration of a Fat Cat-Woman. But then I thought, OMG, that's me. Okay let's not get too carried away with that thought.

This week I feel really fat - I am.
This week I feel like I have male PMS.
My emotions are out of control.
Yet, I always feel frisky and playful.

Tell me that picture doesn't give that description a fair amount credence. But just assume that Cat-Woman has a penis and no boobs. Then we're at least on shakier ground. I think I need to up my head-med a bit this weekend, just a tad.

The Chantix Grunt

Just so you know, Chantix can and will-may turn you into a "slow-moving" human play-dough not-so-fun factory. Butt, I'm still not smoking.

Side Effect

Day 5 of being smoke free went well.
Side effects of Chantix, not so well.

Embers Be Gone!!

Dr. Flab began his epic battle with the dreaded Nick O'tine during last nights episode of Saturday Night Live. With a burning cigarette in between his lips he grabbed the last remaining pack in his house. There were eight sticks still remaining. Staring at him like pawns in a chess game with the Queen neatly positioned and smoking, as if to say "Check Mate". With his Chantix armor and every bit of willpower within; Flab attacked the eight pawns first and quickly broke them at their filtered ends and crushed them at the center core. But the burning Queen still had half her energy and conjured her magic to the bitter end. But Flab would not be defeated and he grabbed the Queen by her butt and crushed her head into the metal cauldron of ash. The Queen was defeated. And Flab would need to rest from his battle and entered into a mystical coma of healing and recuperation.

Dr. Flab is well and will soon complete one day in celebration of his defeat of Nick O'Tine and his dreaded death army.

Smoking Cessation: Chantix

Most of my friends know I am an avid smoker. I enjoy it. I love to smoke actually. My friends also know that I quit smoking 2 years ago for a total of 6 months. But I let the emotional and psychological damage of friendships going up in smoke, lead me back to the wonder sticks of nicotine nirvana. Back then I elected to use Chantix, a then-new smoking cessation drug by Pfizer. Holy hell, I did as instructed and *poof* no desire to smoke. I was drug induced cold turkey quiting. I figured I'd give it a go again. OH, not so easy the second time around. I tried quiting about four weeks ago and I was the crankiest 43 year old you never wanted to meet. So I have chosen to take things slower and continue on the path of the 12 week program. You ease into the program with one pill a day for 5 days. Then you continue on a 2 pill a day; one morning and one evening. You are encouraged to exhaust all of the medication, the entire 12 weeks. Your target quit date is after week #1. Well, that hasn't been working for me, so I've been biding my time...